Personal

I was strolling down the main road to the port, just right after the sunset. Last night as it was, my eyes were savouring the landscape until the next time, the next journey to the island. About an hour or less after that, miles away, in our house in Athens, my grandmother would be unexpectedly leaving me. Two hours later, I would have known, unable to react, unable to make a difference, unable to ask her why.

I spent the night doing the same things once and twice and many times; but time was not bothering to spare me. I arrived at the ship very early, and then again I had nothing to do but wait, gazing at the people entering, most of them already familiar one with the other, chatting their news.

For November it was a sweet weather. I walked up to the deck and as we were distancing on board from the island, the wind got stronger and violent. Violent was also the sun, rising above the mountain's top, the Moon as people call it, hurting my eyes with brightness. There, alone on the ship's deck, so close and yet so far away already, I let go of my grandmother free on the island's paradise. As it had happened before, a part of me was staying back to anticipate my next visit. Only that this time, it was the most vibrant and formative part. I was returning home incomplete, deficient.

It was a month and a half after my return, when my graduation ceremony was held. And my grandfather, after finding a form of strength beyond human to attend it, ran off to accompany my grandmother. In great delight, I can guess, they were - are - together as always.

With their essence surrounding every moment, internally and externally, I proceeded in living the life they had inspired in me. And as this life was proving successful and their presence was still shaping it, I realised that the people who raise us can never fade away. Pieces of them, built inside us, carry on and grow as we grow, change along with our change. I deposited pieces of my grandmother on the island, and pieces of my grandfather on the University. And by their unity, they are present at both places, simultaneously, together. Every visit then, is a return home. A home rooted in the inside of the body, of the psyche, but so distanced at times, so hard to reach.

For I cannot clearly tell if it is me or them who make the return, or if there is an actual distinction between us at all.

"But now and again on more occasions than I can number, in bed at night, or in the street, or as I come into the room, there she is; beautiful, emphatic, with her familiar phrase and her laugh; closer than any of the living are, lighting our random lives as with a burning torch, infinitely noble and delightful to her children." (1)

There they are… lighting our random lives with a burning torch, infinitely noble and delightful to their (grand)children.

And thus that November gave way to other months to come, and it is October now. And once again, I am so far away. And it feels like a risk to take each time; to leave the people, responsible for their lives, deprived of you. It is October now and nobody can tell how this November is going to be. So far away from any home I have ever built, and yet my feet feel grounded on the island, as it is fighting to surface on the sea, as it is getting too close to the sun or taking too much water in. Some days are too dry and some others too humid. But I am barely standing, disorientated as things take up their own life, just like I took up other people's existences and spread them in the world... Distinctions are a convenient illusion, I come to understand. In reality, you cannot tell where you stand and where stands another; if there is ever another.

There is, then, no escape, no place that will feel neutral if I have walked on it before. I am paving my way, leaving behind thoughts, gestures, nods, sounds, fears and aspirations, beliefs and misbeliefs, my-selves and the others' selves; a trail leading back to the initial birth; and a defiance towards death.

There can be no death; for once I stood, so vacant and so yet full (or perhaps fool?), gazing from Samothraki to the sea, and all I could see was the future.

Another was then gazing at me.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

1. Woolf, V. (1976) Moments of Being. Schulkind, J. ed. London & Toronto: Sussex University Press, p. 40.

Photograph: A full/fool gaze. Platiá, Samothraki, Greece, 14 Aug. 2012.

Comments

Wolf nights in Bucharest

My demons sleep quietly under the full moon now, but other nights they stalk and howl like the ghost wolves of Bucharest. The large boulevards are as deserted as many their lights are, and of all the nights tonight with all the remaining Christmas decorations and lit up skylines, it feels the darkest of all. Yes, the city hosts its strangers and the youngest the children the more the milk the greater the need to undo and become again. Far from the shiny boulevards, the sideways remain true to their darkness not faking any kind of virtue not looking for temporary saviours. The animals human and other lick each other's wounds and carry on the hunt of the night before it's too late for apologies and too early for excuses. For every battle lost a soul carrier takes over, becoming and rebecoming never undone never out of opportunities, the last hope of the damning and the damned. The wolves howl tonight, the c...

Windswept

The moon plays with the shadows of the caves hiding and emerging once from the mountain’s peak and once from the dense clouds; it also plays with me. The rain falls liquid and malleable, like the skies it comes from; it carries itself especially forcefully through the island’s irregular openings; the drops are heavier when touched and they stay. The crows have already moved – together but in distance – to find shelter, as the rushed waves wash ashore killed dolphins. I touch the drops to hold onto something or to wash off the horror. The horizon is closer than most nights and I cannot feel the land anymore, nor do I want to. The moon, fuller than ever, shows and goes; until the church bells ring the first hour of the morning. April – May 2026, Samothraki.

Έγκλημα στη Σαμοθράκη

Συγκλονιστικές είναι οι εξελίξεις σχετικά με το μέχρι στιγμής ανεξιχνίαστο έγκλημα στη Σαμοθράκη. Η σωρός του Μολδαβού επιχειρηματία βρέθηκε τελικά σε δύσβατο κομμάτι του βράχου Βρυχού, περιφερειακά του οικισμού της Χώρας. Η αστυνομία κάνει λόγο για δολοφονία, αλλά δεν έχει δώσει προς το παρόν λεπτομέρειες για τυχόν υπόπτους ή για τον τρόπο που αφαιρέθηκε η ζωή του θύματος! Ρίγος στην τοπική κοινωνία εν μέσω καλοκαιριού! Θα επιστρέψουμε κοντά σας μόλις έχουμε νεώτερα... Ο αστυνόμος Μακρής έκλεισε το ραδιόφωνο με αργές, σχεδόν θεατρικές κινήσεις. Όχι πως ήταν λάτρης του σανιδιού · μάλλον το αντίθετο. Τον επιβράδυνε περισσότερο η σκέψη της τελευταίας φράσης που άκουσε. Θα επιστρέψουμε κοντά σας μόλις έχουμε νεώτερα... Ήξερε τι σήμαινε αυτό. Το τηλέφωνο θα χτυπούσε σύντομα. Στην Αλεξανδρούπολη επικρατούσε πνιγηρή ζέστη. Ο απογευματινός παραλιακός περίπατος περισσότερο είχε αυξήσει παρά ανακουφίσει τη δυσφορία που ήδη ένιωθε. Βέβαια δεν ήταν μόνο ο καιρός. Στην πρα...

Unconcluded lasting

A shy rain drizzles across the sea almost involuntary certainly insecure. All these empty moments their quietness and the silent awaiting, an unvoiced hope that walks the earth in the morning and fades in the depths of the moon at night, a light that sleeps and wakes wakes and sleeps illuminating nothing at all. Yes, even the light can wither without care without a word or with just saying empty, muted words. The rain drops like gold liquid light trapped in particles unsurfacing an awaiting permanently silenced; an unconcluded lasting. February 2026, Athens. Photograph: Corfu, January 2025.

The Rain vocabulary

The weather came in showers like hours pass in tandem; horizons threw on us gale. I can't imagine a world full of sunshine, said the lonely soil; and opened its hugs to the skies. The windows licked the drops before the wind could carry them away; before they would turn into salt a freezing sensation of ice. The storm had only started; and ducks fled the lake like children flee a war. The river only tried to stand for a second or a moment; the river tried to say it was soon going to go away. October 2023, Athens & October 2025, Lesvos Photographs: contemporary (above) & ancient (below) port of Mytilene, Lesvos, October 2025.

The London collection of short poems

Lambeth / Waterloo Bridge The summer early morning hours smell of fresh cut grass and they come as hesitant as the foxes in the garden; how do I love walking from home to the world’s opening. Tavistock Square An evonym lets itself into the world blossomed and ready – complete and the world takes it instantly; and so I watch the world noticing you and you watch me and there’s some uplift and quietness in this moment that both soothe me. Bloomsbury A radiant cloud settles; all this rain – soft & undecided – transcends London and moves me north while the colours multiply. Trafalgar Square / Westminster Bridge There’s a whole life that with each strike of the clock crosses the bridge and shares herself – so openly; she does so quarter after quarter hoping the right someone will notice. Borough Market / London Bridge I surrender to the controlled chaos and people carry me and at times I carry some stranger, and as I let it all happ...

Vanilla & lavender

You always sleep breathing peacefully in your bed (ever since). The house smells like vanilla and some lavender and you are always sleeping peacefully in your bed (for over a decade now). You will always sleep no matter the flowers in the house no matter the hours that pass. November 2025, Piraeus.

Perceptual haikus

I. The truth gives itself in pieces; it floods my eyes & mind. II. A tribe of hooded crows pulls me back up; or do they plunge me further in the deep? III. A drop falls in the Aegean; the sea licks my wounds unfathomably. IV. Things I’ve known before their time; or things that have crossed their place? V. Fragmented souls flying as dandelions ; they whisper in the atmosphere their fragility. VI. This moon tonight burns transcendentally; worshippers of any kind turn to the sky quietly. VII. The horizon crumbles one star & a cloud at a time; I’ve dreamt of this before with my eyes wide open. August 2026, Samothraki Photos: top – the August full moon rises from the sea on Samothraki; bottom – a hooded crow watches over Chóra of Samothraki.

Inner ocean

The faster I pace the more often I forget to catch my breath. Rarely I catch a glimpse of the waves crashing against the medieval stone walls, or hear the meditating sound of this moment from afar; and history slows me down inadvertently. Does it take an ocean to draw my attention now? I remember noticing once a “day launching itself unaware of what is to come and what is slowly slipping away”. i Today’s day escapes my attention again… If I were to sit on that coastline bench, I would come to realise I ebb and flow, one day to another one life to the next. October 2026, between Greece & Scotland. i Poem ‘Brexit’ (2020): https://poetic-movements.blogspot.com/2020/12/brexit.html

Down the rabbit hole

I. In my dreams I fall off the plane. Underneath me is the dark sea the only source of light the night ferries crossing waters from known to the unknown. I never make contact with the water; instead, as the distance from the plane increases above me so does the reach of the sea under the more I fall the farther I find the sea. The next night I fall all the same the distance longer this time. II. My dream starts and starts and starts again and again and always but never ends. Bound to endless beginnings. Sept. 2026 Kr a k ó w

Poetic Movements

Search This Blog